Friday, August 31, 2012

What's Sexy (Friday Night Full Moon Edition)


Me. 

You.

Swagger.

That look in your eyes like I know I'm gonna get it.

Nerdiness. 

Confidence. 

HANDS.

Being a dork. 

Not looking me in the eyes and making me wonder.

Intelligence.

Your hands in my hair. On my face. In my mouth.

Playfulness.

Telling me what you want.

Sexiness is you asking me what I like and then working on giving that to me, whether it's hard or soft or kinky or perverted, sexiness is communication.

Surprise e-mails with pictures.

That ding when I hear your text come through.

Because by working on giving that to me, I mean working on giving that to me. Telling me what you plan on doing to me. Tasteful sexting. Distasteful sexting, if that's what we're down for. Having a plan and whispering it to me over dinner and then making me wait, you fucking bastard. That is so fucking hot.

Clearance. Asking permission. Once again, communication will make your sex life So. Much. Better. 

Lips. On me. Preferably on the back of my neck and my ears, with a little breath to go with it. Dirty talk optional and so much hotter in public.

Sexiness is you knowing how I want it, telling me to put my arms up, to bend over, to beg for it, to wait for it, to say your name, to say it louder, to fucking say it louder, to not say anything until you say it's okay

Hands. Did I say hands? Strong, capable, hard and tender hands.

Sexiness is having a little burn on my face or my stomach or my thighs from your stubble, or the feel of your perfectly smooth face and round curves bending to my will. 

Men.

Women.

The authors of this blog, if I do say so myself.

Androgyny.

Anticip...ation.

It's when you tell me that you like the tightness of me while telling me you love my round and shapely parts as well, all the better if you're drowning me in kisses with the soft parts of you and showing me with your, ahem, hard parts while you tell me.

Sexiness is what turns us on together, from the missionary position to swinging from the damn rafters, from fuzzy handcuffs to the real deal, from a smack on the ass to the crack of a belt, from whipped cream to candle wax, what is sexy is what you define as a couple. Or a threesome. Or whatever, baby. It's sex, have some fucking fun.

Literally.


Now go rub one out alone or together. It's a full moon. The summer's almost over. Get some salty skin in your mouth and get it on.

So sayeth your dirrrty little JezeChelle.

Goodnight.



SEX, SEX, SEX (Did I Say Sex?)


So, I took a poll (a one-person poll, but a poll nevertheless) and decided that what the public needs and wants (I see the popular posts!) is MORE SEX.
So, I think I'll oblige. 
And no, it won't be all 50 Shades of Grey up in here.
It'll be better.
Cause, see, I don't read that shit.
I live it.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Things That I Think Are Hot


This picture is hot, sweaty, sexy, passionate,with a hint of BDSM--
but it is NOT intended to imply violence of ANY sort.

I hate that I even have to post that, but the world we live in dictates that I do.

If you get off on violence against women,
FUCK. OFF.

If you get off on BDSM and healthy sexuality for both sexes,
stick around.

Detox Naturally!


Also, apple fiber for your colon.
And sweat! Sweat, sweat, sweat! 

Truth.


The absolute best advice I have ever been given.

Rock and Rust Forever


I don't quite know how much stock I put into Astrology, but the one thing I identify with the most about being a Taurus is my adoration of all things natural, especially decorations and artwork. I think this is lovely and I want it in my garden.

Asimov on Anti-Intellectualism and Democracy


Intelligence is THE SEXIEST.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Tomato Season is Coming to a Close!!! THE HORROR!!!


I cannot tell you how saddened my family becomes when tomato season draws to a close.
There is nothing, nothing, IN. THE. WORLD,
like a juicy, vine-ripened, heirloom tomato.
The refrigerated things that they sell in the grocery ARE NOT TOMATOES. 
Technically, they are, but once you've had an actual, vine-ripened, delicious bite of heaven, 
there's no way you can go back.
That's when you begin to await tomato season with a true, deep, and abiding love.
That's when you become saddened at the thought of the season ending, 
and you find yourself having tomatoes with every meal,
because soon, all you'll have are those mediocre, over-priced, hothouse tomatoes 
that they sell in the grocery in the off-season.

And that's just depressing to the taste buds.

photograph by Jessica Buckwalter

10 Quotes from Carl Jung