The Honeycrisp Apple Chicken Salad

Ah, the Honeycrisp apple. I could wax poetic for days about this marvelous piece of fruit. In fact, y'all wait a minute, I'm gonna go have one right now.
There, that's better! (I really did have to eat one, or I couldn't have made it through this post.)
Oh Honeycrisp, so sweet, so tart, so deliciously, well, crispy. I could eat another right now, seriously, but let's get started.

What you need: 
Honeycrisp apples, six if they're good-sized, eight if small
Chicken, approximately one pound
Mayonnaise (a good Southerner knows this means DUKE'S, and also knows I can't measure in more than dollops)
Small bunch of purple grapes
Celery (2 sticks, and can be omitted if you don't love on the celery)
Walnuts (depending on taste, two or three of those little pouches--maybe 2-3 ounces?)
Poopyseeds (typo and I'm keepin' it)
Sunflower seeds (for garnish)


Now, Here's the place where I should tell you to start measuring, and I just have to admit, darlin's, that I don't measure. So, if you wanna eat a delicious salad, read on and see if you can approximate. I promise you won't regret it.

Procure yourself about half a dozen Honeycrisp apples. If you do not have access to these delicious treats, I have heard that a Pink Lady may be acceptable or some other crisp, tart-sweet apple. I find that Granny Smiths can also work, but you sacrifice sweetness in the recipe, which for some of you may be a good thing!

Okay, let's core and hollow those apples. I like to slice off the bottoms a little to get the apples to stand on their own like little serving bowls, but you can halve them or quarter them to make little serving boats, or you can do away with the idea of serving the salad in the apples all together! The main thing is to reserve and dice any apple pieces after you core the apples. If you don't use the apples as serving receptacles, you can leave the delicious peels on and serve the salad on some fresh lettuce leaves.

Now you need the chicken. I either start with a pound of skinless boneless or two giant cans if I'm feeling lazy. You just need plain, salt-and-pepper cooked chicken. I don't care how you get it! Use the leftovers from that delicious whole roaster you made/ bought last night! Boil some! Bake some! But cook that mess or open it up and dice it. And remember, we're going for uniformity here with the chicken and apples. Makes a nicer salad.

In a big ole bowl, mix up the apples, chicken, small grapes (if you can't find the tiny ones, halve some of the larger ones), diced celery (remember the uniformity!), walnuts (you may have to halve, ha HA!), and a generous teaspoon or two of poopyseeds. Just use the palm of your hand and see what looks good. Now, add yourself a few big ole dollops of Duke's mayonnaise and mix well. What we're going for is a slightly creamy mixture, so go easy on the Duke's to begin with (my Southern heart just skipped a beat writing that sentence!) But seriously, you want to gently coat the mixture and not drown it or the flavors will be lost.

Now to stuff the apples or plate the salad: Do it how you feel, and then sprinkle with sunflower seeds as a beautiful garnish. You can leave those off, but I find they give an even more delicious crunch to the finished product. If you have extra mixture, refrigerate it for later. This salad makes a great midnight snack.

And guess what?!? For vegetarians, just omit the chicken and double the other ingredients for a still-delectable salad. I've tried it, and it's gooooood.

Now belly on up and enjoy!